would raise an army
board them onto ships
and come rescue me
he hasn't yet
although his only clue
is that I haven't written
what would I write?
that I am so unhappy
I think of leaping from the tower?
that the man they married me to
is so not the man they told us of?
no happy warrior prince
defying gods and battles
no sunny rider welcomed by vassals
who shares a cup of ale with them
no laughter leader in the hall
cheering his warriors' hearts
a beetle on his throne
with spiders around him spinning webs
so that the soldiers who fight for him
fight only when they cannot lose
while he, I cannot even bring myself to say "poor man"
too sick to come to bed
coughs into his napkin
or his handkerchief
and smiles his dreadful smile
as if foreseeing some dread day
when I too am a beetle
oh tower top do not fail me
oh heart of mine do not fail me
when next I climb there
encourage me
father avenge me
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