well, the fancy restaurant that didn't serve liquor
we went there because we had company
visitors from out of town
visitors who had known our parents
before, well, before whatever had happened
that meant they sent a woman back
who was not our mother and yet was
in some way we didn't understand
and had no one to ask about
we went there because my father wouldn't risk
another meal spoiled by the woman
who had once been such a good cook
and wouldn't risk another child saying "nunh-unh"
when he told a soothing lie about how we lived
it must have been hard to be a preacher and a public man
with a family he couldn't trust
and who didn't trust him
so we went to the fancy restaurant that didn't serve liquor
and endured the being-nice ritual of lunch and manners
that sometimes won us ice cream
and then went home to get out of Sunday clothes
except my father who lived in his
and had to prepare for the evening service
outside the sun heated the almost desert air
and we scattered into it to stay away from home
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