my shallowness
Lindy said long ago that one of the things she appreciates about me is my shallowness. after recovering, I could see that I might as well own up to it. so, yes, I am shallow and I appreciate that about myself. what does it mean for me to be shallow? (please note that I am answering only for me; other men do shallow a different way. I think.) I love to look at women. I do. I could do it all day. no, that's not true, but only because guilt accumulates and drives me back to writing and reading. (I was born and raised a Protestant, no matter what I became later.) I love to watch women walk, or girls turn cartwheels, or women dance. one of the most fascinating videos I have watched lately - I was mesmerized and awed - was a group of women drumming and dancing. another was of a band of jazz musicians improvising around a tune I kept thinking I knew, but the star of the video for me was a tall, slender woman improvising - as far as I know - a dance, making it up as she did it, to music that she couldn't have expected, not like we normally mean that word, and in the process defining words like "sinuous" and "willowy" and "sensuous". I love to watch women modeling clothes, especially those gauzy or frothy creations for evening wear. or sandals. or high heels. or dresses for samba or for salsa. I once worked for a summer with a young woman who wore a different outfit every day - yes, thirteen five-day weeks would have been sixty-five different outfits - and every one of them dazzled me. (I used to have to work with one finger squeezed in a drawer so I'd focus on my work and not her. yes, it worked.) oh don't get me wrong, I love mathematics too, and physics, and what I understand of chemistry and biology, and I love reading at philosophy (okay, Wittgenstein baffles me, but that's not fair) so I'm not entirely shallow. I love some of the deeper poets, but many of my pleasures are about a thumbnail deep. I cain't help it. or I'm not gonna. just trying to explain it to you has me smiling and grinning. see what I mean?
No comments:
Post a Comment