television
once upon a time, I was new in this country. I was twelve or thereabouts, and thought I was smarter than just about anything. except circumstances. somehow I was with an aunt and uncle and three cousins, all of whom knew St. Louis and its schools and games like baseball. being smart didn't seem to count for much, but it was what I held on to. but there was something that made being smart worthwhile after all. every afternoon television came on. Howdy Doody, Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, some guy who usetabe a cowboy's sidekick and now introduced froggie with the magic twanger. (I didn't do it, that really was afternoon television in St. Louis in about 1954.) Oh yeah, Andy Devine, I think that was his name. anyway, I'm sorry to say I soon excelled at pointing out when Roy Rogers shot his seventh, eighth, and ninth shots without reloading, or how absurd it was that Miss Hootenannie was captured and tied to a chair for three days without having to go to the bathroom, or other features of television in the 1950s. my same-age cousin tried to explain to me that it wasn't smart to be smart that way. I couldn't get it, of course. soon I lived with a different aunt and uncle in Perryton, Texas, and as well as I remember, everyone was happier. that is, television and I got off to a rocky start. I didn't see television again until my family suddenly reassembled and we moved to Albuquerque, 1957 I think. I didn't do much better with it then. I must've mellowed with it since then. I can now get through a whole evening of recorded television shows without mentioning anything that doesn't make sense. I can. some evenings. and some, like tonight, I lean over and mention to Lindy that you really can't shoot seventeen rounds from a fifteen-round magazine. some things on television don't change. but television shows have, or I've mellowed. I love NCIS and its two little sisters, I love Law and Order, SVU. I especially love any show Neil DeGrasse Tyson hosts, or Stephen Hawking. I cringe and love Last Man Standing. I happily watch Chris Hayes and Rachel Maddow and Bill Maher and John Oliver. Lindy could probably tell you other shows I love or like a lot - she, after all, does all my recording for me. but anyway, I appreciate television. it's like a pacifier for the mind. these days I need one.
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