arithmetic
yes! those magical combinations +, -, x, and /. The first two I discovered on my own. take this with a grain of salt, but I remember sitting back in a sandbox full of the wonderful truth that 2 + 3 = 5 and it didn't matter whether I was counting toy trucks, flowers, hummingbirds, or red peppers! I wanted to run tell someone, but I had already learned that grownups just made fun of you when you figured out something important like that. it didn't matter that there was no one to tell, though. it was important and I knew it. I must've told someone though. I remember an old man trying to convince me that two days plus three days equaled five days, but that was ridiculous. who ever had two days, much less three days, or five days. no, a person only ever had one day, this one, and sometimes he didn't even have that, 'cause it was night! grownups! when they didn't lie to you, they tried to confuse you. and sometime later, still before school, I figured out that if I had twenty-five centavos in a coin, and the toy I wanted cost seventeen centavos, then that left me eight centavos, enough for eight of those paper-wrapped, fish-shaped, hard-sugar candies, which probably was enough to bribe my little sister not to rat me out for buying the toy I wanted. my mother noticed my fascination with addition and subtraction, and made a gazillion flashcards. dear god! they took all the fun out of figuring things out, but if learning them meant getting her to forget the damned flashcards, I'd learn them. and I did. but grownups proved themselves again. my first grade teacher was no more delighted that I knew addition and subtraction than she was that I knew how to read. if I wasn't going to learn like the other kids did, then I could just go stand in the corner. one of the girls in the class told me the secret. "Pretend!" she scolded. so I did. and my first grade teacher was happy again. leaving me to wonder did people really turn stupid when they grew up? I've never quite figured that out, but the little girl's secret has been invaluable. "oh! the earth is round! gracious!" it works every time. just like arithmetic! which has been a fun tool ever since that 2 + 3 = 5 day. and I haven't even told you about the flashcards for the "times tables" or the "gozintas"! a miracle! if you could just learn them once, then your mother left you alone and maybe even bought you another Robin Hood book. bless flashcards! and bless that little girl in first grade. if only she could have taught me to pretend when teachers told us stupid things! but bless her for saving me the trouble she did! and yes, I still love arithmetic, and am sometimes still awed by its simplicity.
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