screwdrivers
jeeminey! long ago when I was a little kid, I was given a screwdriver without a manual. I didn't know what it was for! so I cheerfully used its handle to hammer nails, and its blade as a chisel, and might have come up with other uses for my screwdriver, except that some kindly man who cherished tools saw me hammering with mine and asked if he could show me how to use that tool. "sure!" I said, glad to have made a new friend. that unknown unnamed man probably changed my life. he taught me how to use a screwdriver, and while he did, he taught me respect for tools and their proper use. I never used a screwdriver as a hammer or a chisel again, never used a hatchet as a hammer, never used a...well, you get the idea. but screwdrivers! oh my goodness. they take everything apart and put everything back together again. that's not quite true. some things are riveted. some things are vacuum-sealed. some things are press-fit. but eversomany many are held together with screws. watches are, and once you get inside a watch, its innards are assembled with screws. if you will grant me that bolts are pretty much the same thing as screws, then engines are held together by screws. you can detach a door by loosening its screws from its hinges, then, if you can figure out how to support the door right, you can re-attach the door to its hinges! some things you should not take apart, because just as you loosen that last screw, the thing explodes and you can never find all the parts. even if you did find them all, you don't know where at least half a dozen of them go. (when you're a lot older, someone teaches you how to read and use an exploded parts diagram, and the world makes so much more sense!) and even if you could find all the parts and get them into the right places, you don't have enough fingers and toes to hold everything in place just so, then use your third and fourth hands to press the last plate or whatever cover into place, and your fifth and sixth hands to get the first screw into place and tighten it down, then the second screw, and so forth. no, no. much better just never to take one of the explody things apart, or to quietly and innocently walk away and hope no one remembers you and your screwdrivers. oh! and that's another thing! you never have enough screwdrivers, and you can never have too many. and there are plain screwdrivers and phillips head screwdrivers and...oh! it's endless! so many things to take apart, and so many screwdrivers to take them apart with! ah! isn't life wonderful?
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