stamina
this is kind of a rueful appreciation. I think I had plenty of stamina when I was young, and even a sufficiency of it when I should have been a grownup, but boy is it missing now! I stayed out til 0200 (2:00 am for civilians) last night, which means I got home about 0300 (3:00 am). now any of you who have musician friends know that is about noon. my day typically starts at about 0330 (3:30 am) so my tomorrow was about to start when I got home "today". when I was twenty, that would have meant I would change shirts and get on with the day. when I was thirty I might need a cold shower and a change of clothes to get on with the day. this morning there was no getting on with the day. I had to have a nap just to wake up and field a phone call with Dutch (we have a daily phone call at 0530 (5:30 am) and I fell asleep during that. and I slept til after noon (12:00 pm for civilians, I've never understood that). I never sleep eight hours. never never never never never. never. that's maybe the third time in my life that I know of. (I don't count baby times and toddler times.) seriously. once upon a time when I was older than toddler but still little, I woke up, got dressed, and put on my shoes. I remember it, or think I do, because it was the first time I tied my shoes by myself and got them right. I remember, or think I do, looking at my tied laces, doing a double take, and wanting to whoop or run tell Mommy. oops! no. I could either quietly sneak out of the house or go wake Mommy, but not both. you know which won. but this appreciation is about stamina, and really is about appreciating it when it's gone missing. ("here, kitty, kitty, kitty!") damn it was fun to have! if you still have yours, cultivate it. appreciate it. nourish it. it's the dickens to do without!
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