289.366 - 2016 project and "I want"

every day in 2016, write a sentence or a paragraph or a poem that appreciates

"I want"

(wait a minute!  just let that in.  today is DoY 289, seventeen squared!  and there is no significance to it.  none.  not any!  it just seems unfair, doesn't it?)  here goes an appreciation for something that seems trivial, a whim, a flitter of will.  "I want!"  oh but it's not, is it?   for some of us, it's what keeps us alive, even when the other side of "I want!" is in fact something silly and trivial and something shake-your-head-able.  take me, for instance.  right now I want a Winchester Model 94 carbine so badly I can feel the black walnut stock in my hands,  I can feel the precision and hear the "snick-snick" of the lever-action throw, I can smell the burnt gunpowder after I've fired it.  goddam, shooting a gun is a sensual action!  how badly do I want it?  I've quit complaining about my exercises, aware that I can't very well go shooting if I have to lean on my walker to stand.  surely even those of you who can't fathom my wanting to own and shoot a gun surely can see the humor of wanting it getting me past whining about having to exercise.  no?  rats!  let's consider other examples of "I want".  I looked at Lindy, thought "I want!", and after six weeks of dust-gathering and shilly-shallying and procrastination called her up and happened to run into an "I want" of hers.  We went out that night, in a manner of speaking, and got engaged a week later and got married five months after that, and thirty-four years later are still married and in love!  years later, I walked into a Harley dealer's when it was time to replace my first Harley.  there must've been a herd of fifty Harleys in his dealership, but I saw one and "I want" hit and that was it.  oh man!  earlier than that, I read about physics and got curious about it and went to talk about physics to the only physics professor I knew.  now, to set the stage properly, you need to understand that he was a mousy little man, kind of a Woodrow-Wilson-when-he-was sick-kind of man and I was an earnest young-man-with-a-heart-murmur who admired Teddy Roosevelt sitting there listening to him.  he told me he had no idea what physics would be like for me, but told me what living physics had been for him, and I got out of his chair dazzled and fought through three days of college restrictions and requirements and other gobbledy-gook to change my major from electrical engineering to physics.  that's what "I want" is worth.  goddam.  yes, I appreciate "I want" and love it when it strikes.