Oh damn, I'm tired of hurting!

My lower legs, ankles, and feet have hurt since April.  So far the doctors (yes, plural) can't fix it.  Thank goodness it's a low-level hurting.  The condition is called cellulitis and apparently, there is no cure.

DoY 043 2024

 Thank goodness for my three Js:  Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, and Jameson (whiskey, bourbon, and Irish whiskey).  They sure make nights more pleasant.  I seldom (almost never) sample all three in one night.  I seldom (almost never) have more than three shots of whichever one I'm drinking in one night.  I like to think that means I'm still controlling them.

DoY 315 2023

 Well, here I am in the waning of the year, and at 81 and a half, probably in the waning of a life.

Gosh!  I got to work in the unmanned exploration of space, on missions to every planet but Mercury.  The Voyagers I worked on have left the solar system and are still, the last I heard, sending back data.  Meanwhile, I tried freelance programming for a while, then was a computer specialist for a growing insurance company til I retired.  An interesting career.

I'm sitting in my bed this afternoon wondering if I accumulated any wisdom from it.  Not unless it's the wisdom to claim none.

But it's been a good life.  I'm glad I lived it.  I don't think I harmed anyone, I may have done some good, and I helped us learn some intriguing facts.

More later.

DoY 053 2023

 My goodness!  I am 80 going on 81 (less than 3 months away).  I am in a Senior Living Facility, Atria Santa Clarita, and Linda is in a Skilled Nursing Facility.  I have strange thoughts, not that I am dying, but that I may be soon.  "Any morning now, I may wake up dead."  I don't know exactly what that means, "wake up dead".  Maybe I think that because it always makes me smile.

But for the moment, I am not dead.  I write almost every day, poems or stories.  Even some short stories lately.  Hm.  Well, the stories are short.  Does that make them short stories?  I'll have to look that up.

Anyway, My computers get more and more interesting.  I guess that means MacOS and Windows really do improve.

Well, what the hell!  Onward! Go

DoY 364

 Who is us?

Us is renewable.  Us is mendable. Well, at least once a year, us believes, us really believes, that us gonna be better next year.  Us do.  Us makes resolutions.  I know I do.  I don't know that all us humans do.  Maybe only people who grew it in English-speaking countries do.  Maybe only Christians and ex-Christians do.  But I suspect most anybody anywhere deep down knows he or she can be a better person and he or she really will be, tomorrow!

DoY 357

 Who is us?

Us is inventive!  Us is!  It starts when us're little and us get caught doing something us're not supposed to do.  Maybe it starts earlier than that.  Us get here without a language and invent how to communicate with those pesky, irritating grownups us need for everything.  What a prodigious feat!  And every one of us did it!  Did it so well us take it for granted by the time us're three or thereabouts!  Us invented the inclined plane, the spinning top, hammers, levers, the wheel!  Us figured out how to recreate fire, and mostly how to control the fires us set.  Us invented dances!  Us invented swords and armor, the bow and arrow, the javelin, the lance.  Fireworks!  Oh my goodness!  Us invented the plow, and the dam, and irrigation canals!.  Us invented boats and ships.  Us figured out a compass - either meaning.  Us invented a helicopter!  It wasn't nearly as simple as Leonardo thought, but Sikorsky (I think) finally got the details right.  Us invented the automobile, the submarine, the airplane!  Us invented kings, aristocrats, priests, engineers.  Us invented writing and scribes!  Us invented geometry.  Just that short list prove us is inventive.  Us awes us.

DoY 350

 Who is us?

Us is well-intentioned.  No one, I think, sets out to raise a criminal.  Well, a corporate executive maybe, but not a criminal criminal.  No one sets out to raise a juvenile delinquent even, I'm pretty sure.  No one intentionally pollutes the planet, us just does little things that poison it.  Without thinking.  No, if one polled our intentions, most of us anyway, us wouldn't find an intent to murder, torture, rape, ravish, steal, thieve, rob, plunder, loot, harm, or even hurt.  Somehow they just happen.  But really, us means well.

DoY 343

 Who is us?

Us is ignorant and proud of it.  Us knows that science is when you have a laboratory.  Us knows that critical thinking is something nice people don't do.  Us knows that cops are our friends.  Us knows that rape happens outside the family.  Us knows that humans are the only animals who think.  Us knows that the sky is way up there, and holds little tiny, bright stars.  Well, those of us who don't live in cities know about stars in the sky.  Those of us who live in cities know stars are people in Hollywood.  Us knows drugs are made by evil people, and only bad people take them, except the good drugs, of course, those made by huge corporations who only have our best interests at heart.  Us knows that guns are bad, and if it weren't for guns, none of us would ever kill another of us.  Us knows a lot!  And us don't want any facts to confuse us.

DoY 336

 Who is us?

Us is amazing.  Us really believes, or us says us do, this universe has a God and His responsibility is to make the world nicer for us.  Where have us been the last 50,000 years?  Or even the last 2,000?  Did us not notice the Black Death?  World War I?  The Depression?  The Dust Bowl?  World War II?  The Cold War?  The rise of autocracy?  Were any of these examples of nicer?  Us is amazing.  Us don't need no hoaxers.  Us flimflams ourselves!

DoY 329

 Who is us?

Us is maybe a little goofy.  Maybe more than a little.  Us invents our holidays.  Us celebrates the founding of our country on a day when it wasn't founded. (Thirteen colonies, not one nation, declared independence on that day in 1776.)  Us commemorates the end of World War I and us calls it Veterans Day, or us gets confused and calls it Memorial Day, which celebrates the end of May.  Us celebrates the beginning of September and the beginning of the school year and calls it Labor Day, flying in the face of Labor Day as celebrated in much of the rest of the world on Mayday.  (We can't do that because it's communist and whatever the communists do we have to do differently.)  Us marks one day for giving thanks, and choose that day according to some story about one of the few times the Pilgrims were decent and civilized to the neighbors who had helped keep them alive.  Us is many things, but logical or reasonable us is not.  And us is defiantly proud of that!

DoY 322

 Who is us?

Us is flimflamable.  Yep, nonsense ignites us.  We let the NYT tell us that rising inflation puts heat on WDC, and we wonder, "Wait!  Should I have my knickers in a knot about inflation?"  We don't even remember what inflation is - that merchants screw us out of more money this week than they screwed us out of last week.  We think there's an actual bug called "inflation" and somebody somewhere - evidently in WDC - has the job of stomping on it.  Oh my people!  You shouldn't worry about critical race theory - you don't know what that means either, you should worry about our lack of critical thinking.

DoY 315

 Who is us?

Us is intelligent.  Us is!  How else could us juggle the set of lies us tells us about us?  How else could us espouse ideals and principles so against our own self-interests that they're practically suicidal?  Yet some 40% to 45% of us is Republicans.  How could the rest of us win an election, and squabble away the time us has to do something maybe useful instead of just doing it?  How could some large group of us argue about whether to stifle or maybe end a pandemic?  How could some of us want to keep any cure or vaccine us comes up with close at home?  Does us not understand pandemic?

Yes, Pogo,  We have met the enemy, and he is truly us.

discovery

Wow! I just discovered that I can blog from my phone!

Who'da thunk?

DoY 308

 Who is us?

Us is a gloomy subject.  I guess us needn't be.  Us has potential.  Us could change.  Us haven't changed much for millennia, as well as I can tell.  But us could,  Us cowld wake up tomorrow generous, kind, thoughtful, hospitable, sharing, amicable, empathetic.  Us could!  Us is halfway there anyway, isn't us?  All us has to do is delete a few habits, right?  Like jealousy, murder, war, maiming, rape, rioting, torture, gaslighting, ratfucking, those.  But damn!  They're so much fun!  Probably not, huh?

DoY 301

 Who is us?

(Remember Pogo, "We have met the enemy, and he is us.")

Us is many contradictions.  Us would rather see children starve than feed them.  Us claims to be the most generous country in the world.  Us claims to be for law and order, and us riots when people who don't look like us express the freedoms that laws give them.  Us turns a planet into an oven, and us denies the temperature is rising.  Us refuses to use any other source of energy than petroleum or natural gas, and us denies what science shows they pollute the atmosphere with.  Us would rather invade and occupy other countries than convince them, and us wonders why other uses think us're warlike.  Us proclaims freedom of speech, and threaten to kill anyone who disagrees with us, or even doesn't agree with us loud enough.  Us is good people who rape, maim, molest, and demean other uses, and then oppress them.  Us sings praises to the Lord us has created in our own image.

DoY 294

 Who is us?

Us is damned near almighty.  Us've cured diseases, in some cases almost eradicated them.  Us've hunted into near extinction animals that used to prey on us.  Except ourselves, of course.  Us've dammed mighty rivers, and damned those we couldn't dam.  Us've turned almost limitless sources of fresh water into sewage ponds.  Us've built highways that crisscrossed the Chinese Empire and the Persian Empire, the Roman Empire and the U.S. of A.  Us've imagined ourselves rocketing about the universe like American families vacationed in the 1950s.  Us've erected buildings us claimed scraped the sky.  Us've triumphed over so many adversaries!  But us can't seem to triumph over ourselves.  Now, in the day of rockets, airplanes, ocean liners, and automobiles, us gets along with each other about as well as in the days us used bones for clubs.

DoY 287

 Who is us?

Us is a nation who incarcerates more of its citizens than any other nation in the world, then can't control or even manage its prisons.  Us is a nation who has not been at war in five of its two hundred thirty-two years of existence.  Or was it four?  Us is a nation who abolished slavery publicly and loudly, then sneakily brought hit back through its prison system, and even more sneakily brought it back in its black market sales of girls, women, boys, and men.  Us is arsonists, rapists, extortionists, and thieves who go to church, synagogue, mosque, or temple.  Us is "normal" people who haven't yet participated in any of those crimes, but ignore them, or pretend they don't happen, not really.  Or deny them.  Us is also victims, scapegoats, or school children fed misinformation.  Us is parades, speeches, fireworks, and church bells.

DoY 280

 Who is us?

Us is nice.  Us likes nice.  Nice is convenient because us can torment, torture, rape, maim, and kill, and still be nice persons.  Us can drive a marriage partner or a business partner to drink, madness, or suicide, and still be a nice person.  Nice doesn't constrain occasional meanness or viciousness.  Us does those passing through a room, and us smiles sweetly or brightly as us enters the next.  Nice is a gift to humanity.  Viva nice!

DoY 273

 Who is us?

Us is good people, good citizens.  Us goes to church at Christmas, Easter, and the Fourth of July, or whatever the Holt Days are in our faiths.  Us votes, ua goes to Support Your Local Police rallies,  Us stays no more informed than we have to be, or need to be.  Us are shocked to learns our government tortures,  Us never quite make the connection that our government supports dictatorships outside our country.  Why would us want to know unpleasant things like that?  Besides it's none of our business, right?  Us has a hard enough time keeping a job or jobs that give us some pocket change, let us feed the kids, and keep our automobiles running.  As long as the world out there leaves us alone, us is just fine with what they do among themselves.  Us is not busybodies.

DoY 266

 Who is us?

Us is a nice people, a clean people, a pretty people.  And us is.  I think us breeds for those.  (Fortunately, us can't tell.  We have to wait for archaeologists or at least anthropologists to get some perspective on us and our behavior to guess whether we do.  But consider a current amateur anthropologist's verdict:  we seem to.)  But mainly us breeds for lying.  Most of us is pretty good at it, and some of us is outstanding.  Us tells ourselves us is peaceful, kind, loving, gentle, thoughtful, et cetera.  But deep down us knows = I think us does - each of those holds a nugget or kernel of truth exploded into a lie.  When us studies history, what does us study?  States.  Wars.  Empires.  Religions - which mean pogroms, tortures, burnings at stakes, "civil" wars, slavery, annihilations, all that good, kind, merciful, loving stuff.  Us may be nice, clean, pretty, but that's not the record us leaves behind!